Wisdom

I’m looking for wisdom. It’s a never-ending quantum orb of life asking me to refill it with each passing moment, a scavenger hunt for the most precious jewels hidden deep in my mind. Most of the time it leaves me wondering what I need to know and how to go about unearthing it, how to play that drum with the right drumsticks, how to put the jigsaw together.

It’s a deli menu with so many options, I end up ordering the same martini and the same salad and the same mug of black and white coffee. When I get lazy or feel helpless, I look for someone to rescue me. I know everyone I meet teaches me something I need to know, even if I resist that lesson, and I resist a lot.  I’m perfectly happy to stay in my little design and not draw outside the lines; yet when that becomes tedious and I find that I’m lost, I look for someone or something to help me see how to move on to something new.  

New is what inspires me: seeing something new in the old or just seeing something I’ve never seen before.  When I was young, it was all so simple because everything was new, and it all came so easy; but now that I’m older, to stay alive, it's not just important, it’s urgent, it’s everything to see the new. It energizes me and gives me reason to go on. And that’s hard.  It takes so much more energy and creativity to get off my butt and explore that orb.  But onward I trek, looking for that iota of passion, of light, to push me through and get me going. I’m making a list of what brings me joy, and when I find something new to add to the list, the sky opens up and I grab a star.